I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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