Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
