420 ftw
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
