CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
