Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
