happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
