I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
