She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
