the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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