she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
