If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
