I love black thongs
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
