i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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