Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
