Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize