please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
