just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
