all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
