I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
