Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
