He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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