help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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