Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize