the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
