marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She's not a foreskin expert like you
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
