no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
a search helicopter?!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
