So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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