no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
