I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
