Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
