never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
