No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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