Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
