After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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