highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
