I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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