I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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