When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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