TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
