turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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