More tranny stories later!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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