i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The struggles of a small town man whore
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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