I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you didnt know i had herpes?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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