he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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