Have you finally orgasmed yet?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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