I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
