Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
