I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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