btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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