great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
