Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
