you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and she was petting her beer can
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
