Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
