there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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