i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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