Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
