i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You ruined the universe
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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