So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
