TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize