Jerry, you need to find god
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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