Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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