i was born a porn star she said
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
