she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
