ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You can't motorboat a personality
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
