I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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