mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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