just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
