He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
