this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
